Assalamualaikum and Hi.
How are you guys? I hope you guys are fine. Many of you guys must have been experience in love right? So, how was it feel? Is it okay and do you like it?
I'm also have been experience it. But this person who was with me is very nice and caring person. That's why many people like him, I guess. He is romantic and that's why he have many crush. But we already broke up. I'm the one who decided this. The reason I asked for broke up is for his own good. And, I want to be a normal person like my friends. They are all single. So, I want the experience too but things are going unwell.
I thought everything will be going just fine and smooth because it is not the first time we broke up. It's already four or five time I think. I've tried to be nice with him. Why must he be so rude with me? If he cannot accept it, why must he accept it? Why dont he reject it? I just want to know him better. I want to know what will be happen if i asked to break up. Is it my fault? Hm it's okay. You can always blame me if you want. But come on, even we already broke up, why cant we be like best friend? Why? Do we get sin if we do it like that? Do Al-Quran or Hadith told that if we broke up, we cant be good back forever. I'm not blaming you and ask for sympathy but this is what I feel right now.
I'm asking for break up doesnt mean I dont love you, hate you or else. No. I swear that I'm really love you so so much. I thought if I did that everything will be okay but it doesnt. If I know this, I will not accept your love. Not because I hate you. It's because I dont want to be separate with you forever. You thought that I'm okay when I asked you for break up? Hell no. My fingers was shaking, my heart was pumping faster on that time. But, maybe to you it is nonsense or you dont care at all. It's okay.
I'm sorry for making you mad and frustrating. I dont know this will happen. I thought that you will understand why I make a decision like this. I know it's hard for letting someone that we really love go. I'm sorry. But, even we are separated, you will always there inside my heart. I hope that you will read this because I really want you to know and understand. But, you seem so happy without me. And you already make your fake relationship with her or maybe it's true relationship I dont know. Just go on with her. Maybe she is better than me. Take care.
I'm sorry. Actually, I want to dedicate this post to him. But anyway, thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. I know I'm only fifteen. I dont suppose to find any boyfriend. It is not the right time for love in this age. I already realized it. Please dont blame me. Past is past. Life must go on. And, sorry for my grammar and everything. Adlina, I want you right now.
Thank you.